"Hi. Do I know you?"

Dear Diary,

Have you ever wondered if someone you are close to is, in fact, who they say they are?

This idea of not knowing who someone really is has been hitting me in the face lately. It started with watching the Lifetime movie, "The Craigslist Killer" the other night. If you don't know the story, a charming, intelligent young man going through med school meets a girl, falls in love, and soon the two move in together and become engaged. They spend their day-to-day life together with the exception of classes, work and never ending "study time" at the library. Here this girl is, preparing for a wedding with "Mr. Right" while "Mr. Nasty" is really shopping on Craigslist for the next girl he is going to rob and possibly kill.

I have no idea how accurate the facts are from the movie, but this girl is so in the dark about who her fiance is, that following his arrest she is convinced they have the wrong guy and she continues to plan their upcoming marriage. It takes the 16 panties they find under the mattress, a gun hidden in a school book, a fake I.D. and proof of the disturbing history on his laptop to convince her that maybe the love of her life isn't who she thinks he is.

I can't imagine a blow to the gut like that! I find myself asking the obvious question, "Could she really have not known the man she was living with was a killer?" Sure, he was a busy med student who could easily use the "I was studying late" as an excuse for where he had been, but I would like to think that I would still be able to detect something was up. His biggest mistake was not returning her phone calls. If it was me, and someone (someone being Garrett) didn't return my phone calls ALL DAY, he'd be in some big trouble and I would demand and answer.

So okay, maybe not knowing someone you are close to is a lunatic killer is a little extreme, but get a load of this story I read online this morning:

Kiri Blakeley, a young New Yorker, has spend 10 years of her life with the "man of her dreams," only to find that her once stable life is turned upside down with the confession from her fiance that he is gay. Once again, I find myself asking the obvious question, "How could you not know?" After further reading the article, Kiri explains how possible it is be to be completely in the dark:
　
"It's like this...if you have back pain, it could be you worked out too hard the other day or it could be cancer. So, I suppose in retrospect there were a couple things that could have been clues but at the time I wouldn't have known. The first clue was that he'd started growing a beard and even though I told him I didn't like it and it was itchy, he wouldn't shave it. I couldn't have possibly known that him growing a beard meant he was gay. But later on I found out he'd been taking photos of himself with the beard and that there was this whole gay subculture of bearded gay men. And our sex life hadn't been what I would have liked, but honestly, it wasn't as bad as some of my friends who were also in straight relationships. Sometimes we'd go months and we'd even been in therapy about it but he would always say things like "Well, you could initiate" or "I'm ready when you are." Certainly he never piped in and said "Well, it's because I like men." And I don't know if I'd confronted him about it before that night if he would have caved and told me. I have a feeling people tell you these things when they're ready and not a minute before."

I guess I can say that at least the guy had the courtesy to sit her down and tell her he was gay, but again, after some searching on his computer, she found out he had been cheating on her for two years prior to his confession. Granted I know nothing about Kiri and her relationship with this man, but to me, cheating is completely unacceptable and unfair. Two years is a long time to be "unsure" of your sexuality while leading a double life and lying to someone who is in a monogamous relationship with the person she loves.

So, what do you think? A little more believable than not knowing your fiance is a crazy killer? Maybe... But either way, I can't imagine my life being turned upside down with one quick kick to the face like that. Imagine finding out that your Dad is a serial killer. Or your husband has been cheating on you for years. It's easy to think "no way, that is not possible," but these women probably thought the same thing. No, I don't think anyone close to me is leading a double life, but it still doesn't stop me from considering what it would be like if I were in these women's shoes.

Sometimes I joke about how "boring" my life is and how I am somewhat of a "loser." Sure, Garrett and I would definitely be considered "homebodies," and yes, our social circle is rather small, but I would take this simple life over a crazy, drama filled one any day!

Sincerely Yours,